Beware of the "Signifying Monkey"

In order to fully understand the topic of discussion for the day, it is necessary for me to explain exactly what the signifying monkey is. The signifying monkey is a character from African American folklore and this character, in essence, serves as what is now known as an instigator. This "monkey" instigates a fight between a lion (the king) and an elephant. He targets the lion's pride stating that the elephant has challenged the lion's authority and in a fit of rage, the lion seeks out the elephant in order to defend his name. Nevertheless, the elephant - for lack of better word- beats the living crap out of the lion and the monkey condescendingly mocks the lion from high in the trees, where he himself remains safe from harm. This is very significant for many reasons, primarily because at some point you will undoubtedly encounter one of these monkeys. I have fairly recently. The signifying monkey is a character that is able to manipulate you without you even catching wind of it. He, or she in my case, works very slyly and the worst part is that there is nothing that you can do about it. In regard to the lion, the monkey remains in the trees where the lion cannot reach him; in my case, the monkey is an authority figure that I am powerless against.

This monkey is the worst type of manipulator because he cannot be broken. He will use you in his plot to simply entertain himself, and you unknowingly will dance like a puppet on a string. The only way to combat the signifying monkey is to know your facts 100% before you act. This is very important because once the monkey gets a hold of you and gets inside of your head you will be powerless. Moreover, when you finally realize the monkey's plot and intentions, it will be too late and the monkey will remain untouchable for you. Simply put, BEWARE OF THE SIGNIFYING MONKEY because being caught within his grasp will inevitably lead to frustration at your inability to retaliate. Until next time, *SMOOCHES*

Fish Out of Water

It is no secret that fish need water to survive. Without water, a fish will most certainly “suffocate,” perishing as a result of trying to breath with “no air;” proverbial air that is. The primary issue at hand is that I am a Pisces, a fish, and I have lost my lifeline, my water bearer, quite some time ago and I’m struggling to survive. You’re probably wondering how I made it this long without water, but that is simple; every now and again my water bearer brings me a little, just enough to continue on, but not enough to get my fill. My water is rationed in small increments. I am given the opportunity to dive in but am quickly pulled back out, never truly able to frolic and flourish the way that all fish need to. In essence, I am flopping around on the dock, praying that my water bearer will oh so gently, place me back into the water so I can live. I mean really live.

Life in general is difficult, but it can be even more intolerable once you lose the very thing that has kept you going for so long. Although there are many things that inspire and motivate me, there is something missing. The water that every fish needs is no longer available to me and I feel as if I am sinking into an endless pit of sand, and am struggling to break free from air's choke hold. The only way to truly end this suffering is for the water bearer to unselfishly shower me with the very element that I need. So this is my plea to my water bearer, my Aquarius, there is so much that I need from you, but until you decide to be as generous as I have been, I will remain on the dock of life praying for your mercy. Until next time, *SMOOCHES*

A Tiger in a Cage

As I sit here, I'm staring attentively at the woman behind "the yellow wall paper," wondering if she sees me for who I really am. For I have changed and I'm not even sure I know me anymore. Over the years, one is expected to evolve and mature but to what point is that change acceptable? Personally, I draw the line when becoming a "better" person leads to self loathing or even shame. Recently, I was been put in a position where I had to choose between compromising my own personal ideals and possibly hurting a foe disguised as a friend. I chose to keep my comments, opinions, and facts to myself and it is killing me. Before I started "working" on myself, I would have just said and done what was truly in my heart because I usually do not care about other people's feelings but for some reason, I cannot seem to bring myself to express the sentiments that are burning in my soul. There is a beast inside of me and as of right now I'm keeping it under control, but how long do you suppose one can do that? It is a sore that is festering and oozing over; it is getting infected and in the process is affecting my relationship with the person whom I am trying to protect, from me.

My contention is not to intimidate, strong-arm, or even appear aggressive by any means. I am merely exposing the inner conflict one can be faced with when she compromises herself to save a fake relationship simply because it is convenient. This stress must be dealt with in a manner that is not typical of my regular operation, because, like I said before, I am working on myself. My goal is to avoid subjecting others to my hurtful spurts sarcasm and and ruining them in the process - apparently I am very good at that. But in order to do this, I must suppress my thoughts, which entails going against everything that I believe in and stand for. Clearly being a better person is going to take some work, hopefully not more work than I am willing to commit to, but we will see how it goes... Until then, *SMOOCHES*